The life and times of Ravey

A glimpse into madness

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I hate feeling like this. Alone. Unloved. Unwanted. I am sitting in the spare room of my boyfriend's parents house. It feels like I've been here like this for hours, though I know it's only been half an hour. I know my boyfriend loves me, that he's just spending time with his family while he's here because he loves them and misses them and doesn't get to see them very often. Knowing doesn't help. For the past half hour I've been crying by the side of the bed, hidden from view... half-hoping he'd come in and find me and make everything okay. And half-hoping he'd ignore me and leave me to my misery. It's not like there's anything particularly wrong. I guess that's the problem with depression. There's no reason: I just feel crap. I've been fighting off suicidal thoughts and wanting to hurt myself and the biggest reason I haven't is because I'd be so ashamed if his parents found out.

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